March 17, 2015

Answers Sometimes Lead to More Questions

I'm exhausted. I am not used to working and my body is screaming at me. I'm kinda glad that I have this week to adjust before school starts up again next week. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my new job. It's so rewarding, and the people I help to take care of are so interesting. I've got a hilarious conversation for the link-up later this month.

My schedule will be busier than ever starting Friday, you should see our calendar board in our kitchen. So if you text or snapchat me, it may take me a little longer to reply. Or even email... and blog comments. Yeah. Sorry. I still love you though.

In other news. That blood work I mentioned last week, well everything came back normal. Great news right? Sorta. It didn't explain the symptoms I've been experiencing, some of which started about five years ago and have gotten increasingly worse. The nurse who gave me my results consulted with my doctor and called me back later that afternoon. I can't say I was surprised by what she said; I have actually been suspecting for a while that this may be the answer. It makes sense.

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. (You can read more about it here.)

There is a really high chance that I have it. The only way to know for sure is to have an ultrasound done. My doctor wants to try one more thing before we do that though, so he put me on another medication to see if it helps.

I haven't really reacted just yet. I think my mom had more of a reaction than I did when I told her. She wanted to know for sure, right this second. I told her it was ok, and that it can wait. She said it was important. Then I told her that it didn't matter. If I had it, I had it. It's not curable. She mentioned kids. I told her it was ok, we didn't really want kids anyways.

I think she was hoping deep down that we would change our minds about that decision. I don't know if we will, especially now.

But then I started thinking about it and I'm sad and angry. Before now it was mine and Hubs' decision to not have kids, and now that decision has been taken away from us. My body has decided it for us.

I don't really know how to end this post. I sat here for about twenty minutes trying to think of something else to say, but nothing came. It probably didn't help that I was watching The Fault in Our Stars and crying into Misty's fur while writing this post. I guess I could say that I'm relieved to have answers, even if I don't like them.

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