September 8, 2014

{Guest Post} Craigslist Is Not As Bad As You Think

While Hubs and I are down in Georgia visiting my family, I have invited a couple of my fav bloggers and bestest friends to fill in for me. Today it's Kathy from Him and Me (but mostly me). If you don't follow her, you totally should. Especially if you're a newlywed. She tells the truth about life as a newlywed and her battles with anxiety. I admire her courage for putting it all out there so honestly. We have so much in common, it's no wonder she and I became such good friends so quickly! When I asked her to write a post for me, she decided to open up a little more and share the story about how she and her husband met. So take it away Kathy!

Hello Knock On Wood readers! My name is Kathy from Him & Me (But Mostly Me) and since Amanda Nicole is off having fun I thought I’d help her out and tell you about why online dating, specifically Craigslist, isn’t as bad as the media has made it out to be.

I got inspired to write this post because I’ve seen a lot of people speaking badly about Craigslist and that sort of bothers me since that is where I met my husband.

Don’t get me wrong, I get it. There was a murder and they made a Lifetime movie about it. That scares people. But have you stopped to think about the other side of it? How many young ladies have gone to a bar and met someone, set up a date, and then were raped or murdered? I don’t have statistics on that – but when I Googled it I found a ton of stories about murders after first dates. But that story doesn’t make a good headline so they don’t report it on the news. I mean, “Girl Meets Guy at Bar, Then Is Murdered” – it’s not really as catchy as “Craigslist Killer”.

Another headline that doesn’t make it to the evening news is “Girl Meets Guy off Craigslist and Lives Happily Ever After”. That is my headline.

I was never the outgoing girl that would walk up to a guy and start talking to him, nor was I the girl that guys flocked around and wanted to take out on dates. My first date didn’t happen until a few months after my 21st birthday. I’m pretty sure I met him off of Craigslist too.

Between him and meeting my husband I went on a lot of dates. I was made fun of by my family because I was going on a different date every night. And every one of those dates came from meeting the guy off the internet. They weren’t all off of Craigslist. I tried, eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, and a few other sites that I’ve forgotten about now (no Tinder, though).

I read a blog post recently where the author said that you will get better candidates on the paid websites since people who are paying are more likely to be looking for something serious. I don’t think this is the case. As I mentioned before, I tried those paid websites and I talked to different guys on them, but I think that out of maybe a year of being subscribed to the sites I only got 2 or 3 dates. And by this I mean I only found a few guys that actually were interested in relationships and not just getting some no strings attached sex. It was on Craigslist that I found guys who were looking for relationships and not just sex.

That’s not to say that I didn’t find creeps on Craigslist, because I did. But I do think that you can find just as many creeps on the paid websites and in person. After all, if you go to a bar or meet a guy randomly when you are out and about – how do you know he isn’t a criminal that will hurt you (and I don’t mean emotionally). The fact is that unless he is someone that you met through someone your chances of the guy being a creep or a bad guy are just as likely in person as they are online. But I have to say that I think online is better.

Why, you ask? Well because when you meet someone through Craigslist or some other site you can research them. You can Facebook stalk them, Google their name and do whatever else you feel you need to do in order to get to know the person before getting to know them. This is what I did with the guys I dated. I usually e-mailed back and forth a little bit, then I texted with them or IM’d with them, finally we set up a date.

After some time I would post my own ad’s on Craigslist and just wait for people to respond to me. I found this a much easier and better way to get to know guys. I posted what I looked like (honestly), my age, what I liked to do and what I was looking for. I got many good replies. My husband was one of them. He e-mailed me in 2010 apparently and after exchanging a couple of e-mails I didn’t reply. He says it was because of the pictures he sent me; I say it was because he was living a good 30-40 minute drive away in a bad part of town (ever heard of Compton?). Either way I don’t remember this at all.

He persevered though! A year later he replied to another post I made and we started e-mailing and texting each other. He had a lot of assets I liked. It took about 2-3 weeks before we actually went out. Now we are happily married and living in our new condo.

The moral of my story is: don’t judge Craigslist by one thing that happened to one person and that got blown up because it made good headlines and a Lifetime movie. Craigslist is also a great place to get used furniture for low prices and even find jobs (I have done both!). I also got rid of my washer and dryer for $20 instead of paying $15 for Sears to take them away!

Where/How did you meet your significant other? Have you used Craigslist?

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