I used to be insanely insecure with myself, which made me insecure in my relationships. I sought reassurance and confirmation daily, and I am sure that was part of the reason all my past relationships failed. I have come to love myself and accept the person that I am, and I have found a wonderful man that does the same. I don't have to ask for them nor look very far to find signs that he loves and cares for me, they are displayed openly in our daily life. And I do my best to give him no reason to doubt my feelings for him as well.
Philip has agreed to help me write this post, which makes it extra special. We are going to share with you ten things that we practice in our own relationship that make us happy and feel closer to each other. A few of these helped a lot in the beginning when it was long distance.
Even if none of these things apply to your relationship, I hope this list inspires you to look at the little things that you do and appreciate them even more.
1. Every morning give a goodbye kiss.
Never let anything keep you from giving affection daily. Even though Philip gets up far earlier than I would ever dare, he still gives me a kiss before he leaves, waking me up just enough to know he's gone for the day.
2. Send sweet or thoughtful text messages.
It only takes a few seconds to let someone know they are on your mind. Philip has never been good with words, so he joined Pinterest. There he finds quotes and lyrics that represent what he feels, what he wants to say, or our relationship in general. I have awoken to one nearly every morning since April 2013. We also have a message board in our kitchen that has the prompt: You are Loved because __. I love leaving him a note there for him to find in the morning.
3. Do what your partner likes/wants to do without complaint.
Relationships are about compromise. You can't always do what you want to do, and you won't always like what you're partner likes to do. Sharing activities and doing new things can bring you closer together and make great memories. Who knows, maybe you'll discover that you really do kinda like that T.V. show.
4. Save water, shower together.
Does this really need further explanation??
Really listen to what your partner is saying, and not saying. Sometimes it's what's behind the words that you need to pay attention to.
6. Know and Support your partners goals.
Helping each other grow as a person is a great way to help your relationship grow. Philip wants to move into an more IT based field, so I encouraged him to sign up for an online certificate training course. He does classwork, while I write and work on this blog. And, it's no secret I am trying to lose weight and get healthy. Philip has played a huge role in motivation and accountability for me, and I think I am really going to be able to stick with it this go round.
7. Don't stop dating each other.
Sometimes, as a couple, you fall into a comfortable rut and one day you realize you're not having fun anymore. Set aside time to get dressed up and get out of the house. Go to a nice dinner, see a movie, or explore your city. Long distance? Philip and I would have Skype dinner dates before I moved to Missouri.
8. Unexpected and thoughtful gestures.
As Philip says, "Surprises keep the spice!" When your partner has had a bad day, stop and pick them up their favorite candy, run them a bubble bath, or perhaps that movie from RedBox they've been wanting to see. Last Friday was our first anniversary, Philip told me that my gift would not arrive until the next week, so he surprised me with my new favorite Disney movie so I would have something to open that day. And I surprised him with a gift even though I told him that I wasn't going to be able to afford to.
9. Appreciate what they do for you and your life together.
A lot of times the small things you do get overlooked and taken for granted. Try to stop and take notice of what your partner does for you and your relationship. Let them know you appreciate their efforts. Philip puts the dishes away because he knows I don't like to and I make sure he has a healthy meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner because he'd be stuck with frozen pizzas and Taco Bell if I didn't.
10. Tell them.
People like to hear that you love and care for them. Those three little words can have a lot of power if you support them with your actions. I make sure to tell Philip every night when I come to bed that I love him and he tells me every afternoon when he comes home from work.
What do you do to show your partner Love?